Dealing with Griefers Part 1:
Please Remain Calm

1. Many so-called "griefing" incidents in Second Life are the result of a misunderstanding.
   
   Second Life is populated by a diverse range of people. We come from many different countries, many different cultures & walks of life. We have many different understandings of what Second Life is, many different reasons for being in this world -- and many different setups of the technology that allow us to access Second Life.
   
   The avatar who just bumped into you may have done so unintentionally.
   
   It is possible, in Second Life, for your screen to fail to render an avatar who is standing right in front of your own. It is also possible to experience lag such that you can pound on your movement keys ten times and see no response -- then suddenly shoot half-way across the sim.
   
   If you respond to an individual who is likely already frustrated by this experience by swearing, hurling insults or issuing threats, then you yourself have just caused hurt, possibly provoked the other individual into responding in a like fashion and created a "griefing" incident out of what was originally an innocent accident and, at most, a minor inconvenience to you.
   
   The avatar who is running around naked may just need help to get dressed -- or may not understand that he is in an area in which unclothed avatars are socially unacceptable.
   
   In the real world, there are communities which you probably think of as fair-minded and progressive which still enforce laws that state male persons may go out in public bare chested but female persons may not. There are other communities which have thrown out such sexist laws and others still which never thought to enforce them in the first place. There are communities in which women are required to wear veils across their faces and communities in which men are required to keep their heads covered and communities in which public nudity for all persons is perfectly acceptable.
   
   In the virtual world too, there are different communities with different social mores concerning clothing. Please consider how different and perhaps incomprehensible to you some of those social mores are in the real world before you attack an avatar for the way he is dressed (or undressed) in Second Life - where the lines which delineate our wide variety of communities with differing social values aren't so clearly drawn as they are on a physical world map.
   
   A new visitor to Second Life likely does not share the same level of identification with his avatar as you share with yours. He's just encountered a totally new place with many wonderful things to do and see and discover - and taking time out to change the colour of the pixels which make up his digital representation simply may not be a priority for him. The choice is yours as to whether you help him out with a friendly greeting and polite, considerate education - or create an enemy for yourself by attacking his appearance.
   
   Language too, can be mis-interpreted. Especially in a text-based communication environment which deprives us of the normal cues of body language, facial expression and tone of voice which most of us rely upon in the real world. A sense of humour and a modicum of patience and cultural sensitivity can go a long way towards avoiding problems for yourself in Second Life.
   
   
2. If the individual who is bothering you is deliberately trying to cause grief, the worst thing you can do is rise to the bait.
   
   Ever study behavioural psychology?
   
   
   • If you put a rat in a cage, the rat will explore its surroundings.
     
     
   • If the cage has a lever on one wall, the rat will check out the lever and eventually press on it.
     
     
   • If the lever dispenses a pellet of food when the rat presses on it, the rat will press on it again.
     
     
   • And again. And again. And again.
     
     
   • The rat wants food.
     
     
   • The rat's lever-pressing behaviour is rewarded by the deliverance of food, therefore, the rat is encouraged to continue pressing the lever.
     
     
   • If you stop the lever from dispensing food, the rat will stop pressing on it.
     
     
   • Sure, it might try the lever a few more times. The rat has learned that lever-pressing will get it what it wants so it may take a few non-food-giving lever presses to unlearn that idea, but the rat will actually give up pretty quickly.
     
     
   • There is no need to shock the rat or shout at it or otherwise attempt to punish it for its lever-pressing behaviour. Simply removing the positive reinforcement of the deliverance of that food pellet is enough to make the rat stop.
   
   Want to know a secret? Griefers are just like lab rats.
   
   Let's go back to our rat in a cage example only, this time, the griefer is the rat, Second Life is it's cage, and that lever on the wall is you.
   
   
   • Griefer rat enters Second Life (its cage) and explores its surroundings.
     
     
   • Griefer rat finds you (its lever) and tries to figure out how to annoy (press) you.
     
     
   • If you respond to the griefer rat's behaviour by getting upset, the griefer rat will repeat the behaviour which elicited this reaction.
     
     
   • The griefer rat will repeat the behaviour again. And again. And again.
     
     
   • The griefer rat wants to make you upset.
     
     
   • The griefer rat's behaviour is rewarded when you respond by getting upset, therefore, the griefer rat is encouraged to continue the griefing behaviour.
     
     
   • If you don't let the griefer rat see you get upset, the griefer rat will stop trying to annoy you.
     
     
   • Sure, it might take a bit of patience. The griefer rat has learned that griefing behaviour makes other people upset and it might not be intelligent enough to immediately see that the griefing behaviour isn't going to work on you, so you might need to ignore it for a few minutes before it gives up and goes away -- but it will give up and go away.
     
     
   • You don't need to shout at griefer rat. You don't need to swear at it or threaten it or hurl insults at it or do anything else that might a.) encourage the griefer rat's negative behaviour or b.) get you yourself in trouble for a TOS violation. Simply removing the positive reinforcement of the deliverance of your anger and upset is enough to make the griefer rat stop.
     
     
   • Seriously. Even griefer rat can find something better to do than waste its time trying to annoy someone who completely ignores it.